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Occupy's A**hole Problem: Flashbacks from An Old Hippie

Added 11/08/11
6 Views

Occupy's A**hole Problem: Flashbacks from An Old Hippie

[LESS INFO] 6 VIEWS | ADDED 03:00:00 11/08/11
During Tuesday's Occupy Oakland General Strike, the so-called "Black Block" vandalized stores and buildings as peaceful Occupiers try desperately to stop them. [Caution: Strong Language-- NSFW] Guest Editorial by Sara Robinson , Senior Fellow, Campaign for America’s Future I wish I could say that the problems that the Occupy movement is having with infiltrators and agitators are new. But they’re not. In fact, they’re problems that the Old Hippies who survived the 60s and 70s remember acutely, and with considerable pain. As a veteran of those days — with the scars to prove it — watching the OWS organizers struggle with drummers, druggies, sexual harassers, and racists brings me back to a few lessons we had to learn the hard way back in the day, always after putting up with way too much over-the-top behavior from people we didn’t think we were allowed to say no to. It’s heartening to watch the Occupiers begin to work out solutions to what I can only indelicately call the a**hole problem. In the hope of speeding that learning process along, here are a few glimmers from my own personal flashbacks — things that it’s high time somebody said right out loud. 1. Let’s be clear: It is absolutely OK to insist on behavior norms. Occupy may be a DIY movement — but it also stands for very specific ideas and principles. Central among these is: We are here to reassert the common good. And we have a LOT of work to do. Being open and accepting does not mean that we’re obligated to accept behavior that damages our ability to achieve our goals. It also means that we have a perfect right to insist that people sharing our spaces either act in ways that further those goals, or go somewhere else until they’re able to meet that standard. 2. It is OK to draw boundaries between those who are clearly working toward our goals, and those who are clearly not. Or, as an earlier generation of change agents put it: You’re either on the bus, or off the bus. Are you here to change the way this country operates, and willing to sacrifice some of your almighty personal freedom to do that? Great. You’re with us, and you’re welcome here. Are you here on your own trip and expecting the rest of us to put up with you? In that case, you are emphatically NOT on our side, and you are not welcome in our space. Anybody who feels the need to put their own personal crap ahead of the health and future of the movement is (at least for that moment) an a**hole, and does not belong in Occupied space. Period. This can be a very hard idea for people in an inclusive movement to accept — we really want to have all voices heard. But the principles Occupy stands for must always take precedence over any individual’s divine right to be an a**hole, or the a**holes will take over. Which brings me to…. 3. The consensus model has a fatal flaw, which is this: It’s very easy for power to devolve to the people who are willing to throw the biggest tantrums. When some a drama king or queen starts holding the process hostage for their own reasons, congratulations! You’ve got a new a**hole! (See #2.) You must guard against this constantly, or consensus government becomes completely impossible. 4. Once you’ve accepted the right of the group to set boundaries around people’s behavior, and exclude those who put their personal rights ahead of the group’s mission and goals, the next question becomes: How do we deal with chronic a**holes? This is the problem Occupy’s leaders are very visibly struggling with now. I’ve been a part of a**hole-infested groups in the long-ago past that had very good luck with a whole-group restorative justice process. In this process, the full group (or some very large subset of it that’s been empowered to speak for the whole) confronts the troublemaker directly. The object is not to shame or blame. Instead, it’s like an intervention. You simply point out what you have seen and how it affects you. The person is given a clear choice: make some very specific changes in their behavior, or else leave. This requires some pre-organization. You need three to five spokespeople to moderate the session (usually as a tag team) and do most of the talking. Everybody else simply stands in a circle around the offender, watching silently, looking strong and determined. The spokespeople make factual we statements that reflect the observations of the group. We have seen you using drugs inside Occupied space. We are concerned that this hurts our movement. We are asking you to either stop, or leave. When the person tries to make excuses (and one of the most annoying attributes of chronic a**holes is they’re usually skilled excuse-makers as well), then other members of the group can speak up — always with I messages. I saw you smoking a joint with X and Y under tree Z this morning. We’re all worried about the cops here, and we think you’re putting our movement in danger. We are asking you to leave. Every statement needs to end with that demand — We are asking you to either stop, or else leave and not come back. No matter what the troublemaker says, the response must always be brought back to this bottom line. These interventions can go on for a LONG time. You have to be committed to stay in the process, possibly for a few hours until the offender needs a restroom break or gets hungry. But eventually, if everybody stays put, the person will have no option but to accept that a very large group of people do not want him or her there. Even truly committed a**holes will get the message that they’ve crossed the line into unacceptable behavior when they’re faced with several dozen determined people confronting them all at once. Given the time this takes, it’s tempting to cut corners by confronting several people all at once. Don’t do it. Confronting more than two people at a time creates a diffusion-of-responsibility effect: the troublemakers tell themselves that they just got caught up in a dragnet; the problem is those other people, not me. The one who talks the most will get most of the heat; the others will tend to slip by (though the experience may cause them to reconsider their behavior or leave as well). This process also leaves open the hope that the person will really, truly get that their behavior is Not okay, and agree to change it. When this happens, be sure to negotiate specific changes, boundaries, rules, and consequences (if we see you using drugs here again, we will call the police. There will be no second warning), and then reach a consensus agreement that allows them to stay. On the other hand: if the person turns violent and gets out of control, then the question is settled, and their choice is made. You now have a legitimate reason to call the cops to haul them away. And the cops will likely respect you more for maintaining law and order. Clearing out a huge number of these folks can be a massive time suck, at least for the few days it will take to weed out the worst ones and get good at it. It might make sense to create a large committee whose job it is to gather information, build cases against offenders, and conduct these meetings. And finally: 5. It is not wrong for you to set boundaries this way. You will get sh-t for this. But…but…it looks a whole lot like a Maoist purge unit! No. There is nothing totalitarian about asking people who join your revolution to act in ways that support the goals of that revolution. And the Constitution guarantees your right of free association — which includes the right to exclude people who aren’t on the bus, and who are wasting the group’s limited time and energy rather than maximizing it. After all: you’re not sending these people to re-education camps, or doing anything else that damages them. You’re just getting them out of the park, and out of your hair. You’re eliminating distractions, which in turn effectively amplifies the voices and efforts of everyone else around you. And, in the process, you’re also modeling a new kind of justice that sanctions people’s behavior without sanctioning their being — while also carving out safe space in which the true potential of Occupy can flourish.

Occupy's A**hole Problem: Flashbacks from An Old Hippie

Added 11/08/11
2 Views

Occupy's A**hole Problem: Flashbacks from An Old Hippie

[LESS INFO] 2 VIEWS | ADDED 03:00:00 11/08/11
During Tuesday's Occupy Oakland General Strike, the so-called "Black Block" vandalized stores and buildings as peaceful Occupiers try desperately to stop them. [Caution: Strong Language-- NSFW] Guest Editorial by Sara Robinson , Senior Fellow, Campaign for America’s Future I wish I could say that the problems that the Occupy movement is having with infiltrators and agitators are new. But they’re not. In fact, they’re problems that the Old Hippies who survived the 60s and 70s remember acutely, and with considerable pain. As a veteran of those days — with the scars to prove it — watching the OWS organizers struggle with drummers, druggies, sexual harassers, and racists brings me back to a few lessons we had to learn the hard way back in the day, always after putting up with way too much over-the-top behavior from people we didn’t think we were allowed to say no to. It’s heartening to watch the Occupiers begin to work out solutions to what I can only indelicately call the a**hole problem. In the hope of speeding that learning process along, here are a few glimmers from my own personal flashbacks — things that it’s high time somebody said right out loud. 1. Let’s be clear: It is absolutely OK to insist on behavior norms. Occupy may be a DIY movement — but it also stands for very specific ideas and principles. Central among these is: We are here to reassert the common good. And we have a LOT of work to do. Being open and accepting does not mean that we’re obligated to accept behavior that damages our ability to achieve our goals. It also means that we have a perfect right to insist that people sharing our spaces either act in ways that further those goals, or go somewhere else until they’re able to meet that standard. 2. It is OK to draw boundaries between those who are clearly working toward our goals, and those who are clearly not. Or, as an earlier generation of change agents put it: You’re either on the bus, or off the bus. Are you here to change the way this country operates, and willing to sacrifice some of your almighty personal freedom to do that? Great. You’re with us, and you’re welcome here. Are you here on your own trip and expecting the rest of us to put up with you? In that case, you are emphatically NOT on our side, and you are not welcome in our space. Anybody who feels the need to put their own personal crap ahead of the health and future of the movement is (at least for that moment) an a**hole, and does not belong in Occupied space. Period. This can be a very hard idea for people in an inclusive movement to accept — we really want to have all voices heard. But the principles Occupy stands for must always take precedence over any individual’s divine right to be an a**hole, or the a**holes will take over. Which brings me to…. 3. The consensus model has a fatal flaw, which is this: It’s very easy for power to devolve to the people who are willing to throw the biggest tantrums. When some a drama king or queen starts holding the process hostage for their own reasons, congratulations! You’ve got a new a**hole! (See #2.) You must guard against this constantly, or consensus government becomes completely impossible. 4. Once you’ve accepted the right of the group to set boundaries around people’s behavior, and exclude those who put their personal rights ahead of the group’s mission and goals, the next question becomes: How do we deal with chronic a**holes? This is the problem Occupy’s leaders are very visibly struggling with now. I’ve been a part of a**hole-infested groups in the long-ago past that had very good luck with a whole-group restorative justice process. In this process, the full group (or some very large subset of it that’s been empowered to speak for the whole) confronts the troublemaker directly. The object is not to shame or blame. Instead, it’s like an intervention. You simply point out what you have seen and how it affects you. The person is given a clear choice: make some very specific changes in their behavior, or else leave. This requires some pre-organization. You need three to five spokespeople to moderate the session (usually as a tag team) and do most of the talking. Everybody else simply stands in a circle around the offender, watching silently, looking strong and determined. The spokespeople make factual we statements that reflect the observations of the group. We have seen you using drugs inside Occupied space. We are concerned that this hurts our movement. We are asking you to either stop, or leave. When the person tries to make excuses (and one of the most annoying attributes of chronic a**holes is they’re usually skilled excuse-makers as well), then other members of the group can speak up — always with I messages. I saw you smoking a joint with X and Y under tree Z this morning. We’re all worried about the cops here, and we think you’re putting our movement in danger. We are asking you to leave. Every statement needs to end with that demand — We are asking you to either stop, or else leave and not come back. No matter what the troublemaker says, the response must always be brought back to this bottom line. These interventions can go on for a LONG time. You have to be committed to stay in the process, possibly for a few hours until the offender needs a restroom break or gets hungry. But eventually, if everybody stays put, the person will have no option but to accept that a very large group of people do not want him or her there. Even truly committed a**holes will get the message that they’ve crossed the line into unacceptable behavior when they’re faced with several dozen determined people confronting them all at once. Given the time this takes, it’s tempting to cut corners by confronting several people all at once. Don’t do it. Confronting more than two people at a time creates a diffusion-of-responsibility effect: the troublemakers tell themselves that they just got caught up in a dragnet; the problem is those other people, not me. The one who talks the most will get most of the heat; the others will tend to slip by (though the experience may cause them to reconsider their behavior or leave as well). This process also leaves open the hope that the person will really, truly get that their behavior is Not okay, and agree to change it. When this happens, be sure to negotiate specific changes, boundaries, rules, and consequences (if we see you using drugs here again, we will call the police. There will be no second warning), and then reach a consensus agreement that allows them to stay. On the other hand: if the person turns violent and gets out of control, then the question is settled, and their choice is made. You now have a legitimate reason to call the cops to haul them away. And the cops will likely respect you more for maintaining law and order. Clearing out a huge number of these folks can be a massive time suck, at least for the few days it will take to weed out the worst ones and get good at it. It might make sense to create a large committee whose job it is to gather information, build cases against offenders, and conduct these meetings. And finally: 5. It is not wrong for you to set boundaries this way. You will get sh-t for this. But…but…it looks a whole lot like a Maoist purge unit! No. There is nothing totalitarian about asking people who join your revolution to act in ways that support the goals of that revolution. And the Constitution guarantees your right of free association — which includes the right to exclude people who aren’t on the bus, and who are wasting the group’s limited time and energy rather than maximizing it. After all: you’re not sending these people to re-education camps, or doing anything else that damages them. You’re just getting them out of the park, and out of your hair. You’re eliminating distractions, which in turn effectively amplifies the voices and efforts of everyone else around you. And, in the process, you’re also modeling a new kind of justice that sanctions people’s behavior without sanctioning their being — while also carving out safe space in which the true potential of Occupy can flourish.

In Pursuit of The Muscle Up (Part 1)

Added 08/13/11
14 Views

In Pursuit of the 600 lb Deadlift - Part 1

Added 08/13/11
12 Views

In Pursuit of The 1 Leg Pistol Squat (Part 1)

Added 08/13/11
12 Views

Cardio Sucks For Weight Loss

Added 08/13/11
14 Views

Unboxing Free White V-Cube 5

Added 05/19/11
7 Views

Turn Your Home's Spring Cleaning into MISSION POSSIBLE

Added 04/18/11
1 Views

Turn Your Home's Spring Cleaning into MISSION POSSIBLE

[LESS INFO] 1 VIEWS | ADDED 10:00:00 04/18/11
California Closets Irwin Weiner ASID - When was the last time you did a proper spring clean at home and had a really good clear out? If it's been a long time, then choose a weekend, organize the family, and decide to do it - you have no idea how good it feels! We asked a British friend to describe her family's spring cleaning mission: > " The biggest challenge in my house was the kitchen . I am embarrassed to say that it has been at least two years since I emptied out every single cupboard and drawer and had a thorough sort out. I am still reaping the benefits weeks later, and cannot help but have a small smug smile when I reach into a cupboard and can actually find what I need without a big rummage. It will be interesting to see how long I can keep this tidiness up for as going off my previous record things may soon start to slip . . . "By freeing up storage space, as I am no longer the shameful owner of any out-of-date foodstuffs, and I have also created more space on my kitchen worktops . Things which don%rsquot get used everyday and were permanently cluttering up the counter - such as my food processor - have now found happy homes out of sight, and I have more room to prepare meals. The whole experience has left me wishing I had done it sooner, and I have been boring friends and neighbours %ndash and now you! %ndash with the reasons to get on board and join me. "All this enthusiasm has brought me to the point where I think I am about ready to tackle the dreaded garage. I think the key to this will be hiring a skip and doing my best to fill it: a ruthless approach to hoarding and a no-nonsense attitude when it comes to weeding out the kids' toys. Wish me luck, I really think I am going to need it!" DESIGN2SHARE TIPS: There are some ugly chores we don't like to tackle, and they regularly visit us each spring. Here are some ways to accomplish those important and often neglected chores. * Spring cleaning is an important part of an even larger spring home maintenance program to keep your home running in tip-top order. Read our Time to Make Your Spring Home Checklist, an article that will save you time, trouble, and money. * GREEN Spring Cleaning is a tip-filled article that will give you great eco-friendly ways to get those home cleaning jobs tackled in style! * Finally, we couldn't stop laughing when we saw this made-for-couples how-to video (don't worry; it's PG rated!) from the funny folks at Howcast, helping us turn spring cleaning into a sexy game. Okaaaaaaay . . . Click here to subscribe to our daily design videos. Source: Howcast (http://www.howcast.com/)

Turn Your Home's Spring Cleaning into MISSION POSSIBLE

Added 04/18/11
1 Views

Turn Your Home's Spring Cleaning into MISSION POSSIBLE

[LESS INFO] 1 VIEWS | ADDED 10:00:00 04/18/11
California Closets Irwin Weiner ASID - When was the last time you did a proper spring clean at home and had a really good clear out? If it's been a long time, then choose a weekend, organize the family, and decide to do it - you have no idea how good it feels! We asked a British friend to describe her family's spring cleaning mission: > " The biggest challenge in my house was the kitchen . I am embarrassed to say that it has been at least two years since I emptied out every single cupboard and drawer and had a thorough sort out. I am still reaping the benefits weeks later, and cannot help but have a small smug smile when I reach into a cupboard and can actually find what I need without a big rummage. It will be interesting to see how long I can keep this tidiness up for as going off my previous record things may soon start to slip . . . "By freeing up storage space, as I am no longer the shameful owner of any out-of-date foodstuffs, and I have also created more space on my kitchen worktops . Things which don%rsquot get used everyday and were permanently cluttering up the counter - such as my food processor - have now found happy homes out of sight, and I have more room to prepare meals. The whole experience has left me wishing I had done it sooner, and I have been boring friends and neighbours %ndash and now you! %ndash with the reasons to get on board and join me. "All this enthusiasm has brought me to the point where I think I am about ready to tackle the dreaded garage. I think the key to this will be hiring a skip and doing my best to fill it: a ruthless approach to hoarding and a no-nonsense attitude when it comes to weeding out the kids' toys. Wish me luck, I really think I am going to need it!" DESIGN2SHARE TIPS: There are some ugly chores we don't like to tackle, and they regularly visit us each spring. Here are some ways to accomplish those important and often neglected chores. * Spring cleaning is an important part of an even larger spring home maintenance program to keep your home running in tip-top order. Read our Time to Make Your Spring Home Checklist, an article that will save you time, trouble, and money. * GREEN Spring Cleaning is a tip-filled article that will give you great eco-friendly ways to get those home cleaning jobs tackled in style! * Finally, we couldn't stop laughing when we saw this made-for-couples how-to video (don't worry; it's PG rated!) from the funny folks at Howcast, helping us turn spring cleaning into a sexy game. Okaaaaaaay . . . Click here to subscribe to our daily design videos. Source: Howcast (http://www.howcast.com/)

OMG, what have I *DONE* to my hair!!!

Added 04/05/11
8 Views

LSU Pizza Girl Reportedly Kicked Off Campus

Added 12/12/10
13 Views

LSU Pizza Girl Reportedly Kicked Off Campus

[LESS INFO] 13 VIEWS | ADDED 08:42:16 12/12/10
The college woman now called "The LSU Pizza Girl" and who went off on LSU commissary staff over a Papa John's Pizza she asserted should be made a certain way, has been kicked off campus according to a posting on the forum for the Tigerdroppings.com website. If you haven't seen the now famous video, you have to, before anything else makes sense. Here it is: The video description tells the rest of the story: > She thought they were making her pizza wrong so she went nuts. She told them the cheese goes on before the meat, but they told her she was wrong. They offered to make it how ever she wanted it, and even offered to let her make the pizza herself. Her pizza was already coming OUT of the oven by the time she flips out. She throws a sandwich, and two bags of chips at James Then after he throws the chips back at her, she pulls out her phone, and says "I'm calling the police" A poster named "Afreaux" (not the person's real name) explained that he or she actually met the LSU Pizza Girl, and learned she was kicked off campus: > Was waiting in line at the LSU post office, when she turned around and started talking to me. She asked if I knew who she was, I smiled and said yes. She told me that she is now banned from living on campus Spring semester, so she was trying to change her mail arrangement since she won't be getting mail at the campus post office. I asked her if she was going to drop out next semester, she wasn't sure. She said that Anderson Cooper was the straw that broke the camel's back. Now everyone sees her as a villain, and James as a hero. She then asked the postal worker if she knew who she was. I wished her luck, and she held the post office door open, still talking about Anderson Cooper to no one in particular. Without going into detail, one of the workers there said that everyone dreads seeing her in line. I then told the worker what to search for on Youtube to find the pizza girl video. Apparently the woman was kicked off LSU campus, not just for the Pizza incident, but other episodes too. The LSU Pizza Girl's now so famous, she has a listing in Urban Dictionary . In a way, this event may have been the best thing to happen for her. Now that it's recognized that she does have some kind of mental / emotional problem, she can get the help she needs. The Lord works in strange ways.