Utmost Of The Endmost
Poetry written and read by myself, Kuroari. (Also known as MrKuroMaki on YouTube.)Video Episodes:
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14:28:47 04/26/10
Does It Even Count?
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Poem I wrote on a whim a while back.Does It Even Count?When I tell you how I feelAnd break down before your eyesWhen I fall to my knees in agonyDoes it even count?When you turn to look awayDeaf to my cries and pleasUnaware I'm even thereDoes it even count?When I break down, shut downAnd turn all feelings offTo turn away from your betrayalDoes it even count?When you act as if you've never seen meAs if my feelings were never thereWhile pretending yours never were, tooDoes it even count?When we act as though nothing is wrongAll while knowing nothing is okayWhen we face away, one in sadnessDoes it even count?You've blocked all this from your mindAnd your heart; I've blocked all this from memory.Does it even count?The feelings you felt, and words I've saidThis silent agreement to never agreeThat relationship...Did it ever count?
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14:52:51 04/11/10
Maybe
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I didn't mean to write a poem this short. But as soon as I had this stanza down, I didn't feel I could add anything more to it without taking away from it. So I present to you one of the shortest poems I've ever written; Maybe.Maybe.Maybe you're too far awayOr maybe I'm just too far goneBut either way this won't work out'Cause maybe I'm just wrong
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02:39:21 04/10/10
Left Behind
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For me, this poem was about being angry. It was about being abandoned. It was about being hurt. It was about being left behind.But more importantly, it was about taking charge. It was about breaking free. It was about self-discovery. It was about healing, and changing.It was about moving on.And I can't help but feel that's what I achieved here. I know I stumbled a couple of times in the video, but this was the fourth take and I just wanted to get it done and over with. This was the first take that my dogs didn't bark in and that I didn't absolutely screw up, so whatever. I went with it, haha.So please listen and enjoy. Critique is more than welcome, and trolling is amusing, so go right on ahead and type whatever you want in that comment box.Left BehindTears well up, as sadly, we part;Things just couldn't go well for us...Were we really so doomed from the start?You scoff and say, "Don't make a fuss."But how can I not after allAfter all we've been through, so muchSo much happiness, sadness, anger...You tossed me aside much like a crutch...And then there was no you.You walked away then, so far away.I waited and waited, for so long...How long I stood torn, none can sayI envied you for being so strong'Cause after all, who can do that?Who can just walk from their ailments?"A strong person," I answered myself.And I was left here with my lamentsFor so long I waited; would you turn?Turn around and come back to me?I needed you; "for you I yearn."Since then it's only shadows I see.Uncertain shadows; fear, memories, doubt.Literal shadows; sin, darkness, pain.Left with just a sense of abandonment...Without light. I'd never be the same.I somehow gathered might and strength,After untraceable time spentAlone in darkness, for a great length.Alone and battered by your tormentYour darkness could hold me no longer...I turned my head and looked away;Eyes skimming past the scars and scabsFor freedom, I broke your swayAnd away I ran, away I ran,Away form your ugly worldAnd my self-government began.Away on the tides my spirit whirledOut of the dark world you gave to meOff along the untrodden pathWhereupon light blinded me soFor once I could see the aftermathMy world was a wreck, neglected soDull and so dead and marredYou had torn it asunder so long agoBut there was light, I did regard...And then there was no you.It scared me at first, I admit...My world was empty; alone; hollow.I stood still as time slipped uncheckedWithout you... who would I follow?No one - no you - I had no one.I closed my eyes and took a deep breath;And found I could breathe, beneath my own sun...My eyes opened, and only saw deathBut resurrection is no myth,So with rolled sleeves and a singing tongueI took to tidying my neglected worldFrom some rubble I cleared, a shoot sprungThen another and another,And I caught myself smiling wide...My hands let not my realm smotherAs I flitted with my own strideTo save, grow, and preserveThe little world I had left behindUntil it made me satisfied thatMine and yours no longer intertwinedIt's a beautiful place now,For me, all for me, just for me,You cannot come here, you I won't allow...For my special place here, you cannot see....For here, there is no you.And for the first time in a long time,That thought brings me so much relief.You may stay in your world, beneath the grime.I will not visit you, not at all,For my world I've found is all I need...And I'm free from yours, your little stall.You let me go in your pathetic greed....And then there was no me.I've finally left you behind;I'm finally free.
04/10/10



